Two questions that I've had swirling around in my mind the past week or so....
1. Why do they make the crotches in long underwear hang all the way down to your knees? Seriously folks! It is NOT comfortable!!!!!!
2. Why can't Christian men be more like the men in bars?...At least they have the guts to talk to us...or at least they do while we're walking out to leave...
Which leads me to a third question (since I'm airing my crazy thoughts to the world)...
3. Why is it easy for guys (random ones) to talk to some girls, but not others?
If you, or anyone you know, have answers to these questions, please feel free to contact me at this sight. Nicely, of course. :-)
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6 comments:
ok...answers...but K-town is a little different because everyone here is under special circumstances. So i'll try to answer as best as i can.
1. Long underwear is designed to fit tight against your body, the ripples retain heat. But because its tight you need to pull it up more so the crotch is at your...uh crotch.
2. A good number of guys in bars are looking either to get drunk or to hook up. Hopefully, Christian guys aren't interested in that as being the sole reason to talk to you...and since they're sober, there's this thing called inhibitions and shyness that puts a damper on coming up to a stranger...it's hard having to approach someone. Girls are lucky, they get to just sit there and choose. Also, you ladies are always here in groups, it's very hard to approach a group (aka pack) of girls because they all stop talking to each other and listen to this one guy trying to talk to one of the girls...nervewracking. It's much easier to approach a girl when she's alone. Acutally groups of 2 are best if the guy is there with a friend (this is the ideal situation for dudes and there's books written on being or using a "wingman")...but if a guy is alone its easiest to approach a girl sitting alone. But no decent guy wants to be jerk and bother a girl when she's with a friend or reading a book...but jerks don't mind which is why you have to deal with so many of them.
3. This place is different. Here in KC, guys really notice you ladies...it's surprised to see young pretty American women here. But most of they guys here are married, your fathers age and/or don't want to start anything. I've actually had a bunch of people come up to me asking how I know ya'll. A few even want me to "hook them up", but ick...I'm protecting ya'll :p
But in the states...it really depends on the way people carry themselves. People that laugh seem to be more approachable, quiet shy pretty girls are assumed to be stuckup, pretentious and mean...and you all are all very pretty...but Katie's the prettiest :)
But this gets back to the point i made in 2...packs are hard to approach and girls usually travel in groups. But if you're alone and you look a guy and smile or demurely chew on a straw (or some other cute innocent signal) then glance away when he notices, he'll notice and probably walk over...we're like you, just waiting for a sign or signal. This may involve repeating on your part before he does anything. But try not to look desperate. Many guys are just clueless though. Katie actually had get my email address from a common friend and write me.
Anyways, it's a whole can of worms that would take forever to discuss...guys are really no different than girls, just thinking with bonus guy parts most of the time...yes it's crude, but guys are...ya'll have seen this, especially here.
Thanks for the insight, Mike!
While I didn't really need the instructions for wearing long underwear (mine are already pulled up to my neck--and still hanging down...and the other girls here agree--maybe it's a girl's problem?), I appreciated your thoughts on the male mind.
To all who were wondering, I knew the reasoning behind the men in bars vs. Christian men, but I think what I was really trying to say is that Christian men sometimes tend to "think" too much, instead of just acting on impulse and complimenting a girl...or asking her out. You all have the power of God behind you--What's with this shy and intimidated stuff?!
Your friend who shared the above comments is wise…very wise.
Asking women out isn’t the problem for me. It’s not always easy, but I can usually find a way to make time or find an opportunity to strike up a conversation, although I must admit that approaching a “pack of women” can be a different story and can humble the most outgoing of men. If ever you find yourself interested in some of the men while you’re out with the girls, grab a friend and walk over to the guy(s) and invite them to join the rest of you. I wouldn’t take that as overly eager or forward, especially if your friend is with you when you ask, and would think most men would take it as a friendly invitation to join the festivities.
That would make a world of difference for me regarding “the pack”.
What I do struggle with when it comes to women is the women themselves. I haven’t been meeting many who fit my billing and trying to express myself without offending the better half of the human race is difficult to say the least (I encourage you to read Jill Pole’s response if you haven’t already as it largely ties into what I have to say here).
What attracts men to some women and not others? There are a number of correct responses and much of it boils down to personal preference. Having said that, a warm, sincere smile can go a long way in getting a guy to open up.
What am I looking for? “C, educated, and likes to travel” are three biggies, but they are not the only ones. Other traits I look for are an interest in sports/physical activities (I’m a HUGE Avs fan!), an interest in international affairs (for the record, I think Bush is an idiot and that puts me in the smallest of minorities within C circles), and finally, as shallow as it may sound, there does need to be an element of physical attraction. If the later doesn’t exist, I would prefer we stay friends and hold it at that. There are other, small things that I look at, but those are what I’m looking for upfront.
Age has been a limiting factor in the past and that’s an area I’ve been questioning of recent—how young is too young? Can I realistically expect to relate to someone 10-15 years my junior? I’ll let you know when I figure that one out. Could you see yourself dating someone who was 40? 45? Curious.
So who have I met since I moved to the Land of Willie the Wildcat? I can count three that I would say fit most of the above-mentioned criteria. The first was one I fell for; unfortunately she did not (nor did her friends). The second was someone who, although she has traveled extensively, to the best of my knowledge has not lived outside of the state of Kansas and lives at home with her parents. I think we are different enough that any thought of a relationship would be best left at that: a thought. The final one was our friend “Noel”.
“Noel” remains a mystery to me. How she has remained single, other than by G’s holy grace, is beyond me. She seemingly lacks nothing: she’s a woman after G’s own heart, intelligent, and painfully beautiful. If I wasn’t so dense and not had eyes for another girl when we met, I might have pursued a relationship. A number of females who know her have asked if I intended to ask her out, my roommate (who grew up attending the same church in CO) has point-blank asked me why I haven’t, her brother has suggested on numerous occasions that I should contact her as has her father.
So why not ask her out? The past three years has been the most stressful season of my life to date. In the depths of loneliness while serving in Peace Corps, I was much better suited to handle life than I have been here at K-State. It’s been a humbling experience and I hope that at some point in the future I will look upon it as a season of growth.
Just so we’re clear, I have no intentions of pursuing Noel. I sincerely do hope that she meets the most amazing guy. But all of this does offer an explanation as to why guys sometimes don’t pursue the women around them, even the best of the best. For better or worse, sometimes the season is such that guys are blind to what G has placed in their path. Such is life.
I’m not sure if this answers your questions or not, but I’ll end this tirade with an offer: if ever you should find yourself passing through the area, I’m good for a cup of coffee. You deserve that much.
Grrr…I just had a response to your response, but Blogger lost it!! Here’s Take 2…
So thanks for your insight. It was full of good thoughts that I’m sure I’ll pass along to my friends who may be asking similar questions. :)
As far as your question about age, I don’t have an answer to that either. Personally I don’t believe I would be interested in someone 40-45 years old. Something that I look for is “fun” and so far, I’ve not really met anyone to fit my definition of “fun” at that age. (Not that I couldn’t, I just haven’t yet.)
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like timing and where you are in life far outweigh the age factor. It would totally depend on the person, but if I liked the guy…he was seeking Dad with his whole heart…and I could follow under his leadership….I wouldn’t care if he were 10 years my senior or 10 years my junior.
So here’s another question for you. If I understood your response correctly, you said that you didn’t pursue Noel because of the season of life in which you found yourself. Do you still feel as though you are in that “season?” And if not, would you consider pursuing Noel? Now…I’m not saying that you should or even asking why you wouldn’t, I was just a bit confused as I thought about my, “why some girls and not others” question, if it came down to your season of life…if you no longer find yourself there? (I don’t know if that makes sense or not.)
A couple of other thoughts I had from your last comment:
1. I like that you don’t like Bush. Me either…although I was told I “hate America” because of some of my thoughts and beliefs. Ha!
2. I’m assuming by “Avs” you mean the hockey team? The only hockey game I've been to was in college when this Canadian guy took me. I was really excited because I thought it would be great to watch hockey with a Canadian. He turned out to be more into psychology and asking about my past than the game and I thought, "If we can't have fun here, there's not a chance on earth of having fun anywhere else!" (Again, "fun" is a theme for me.)
3. I'm honored by your offer for a cup of coffee. I'll keep that in mind and if I ever find myself passing through, I'll let you know. (Honestly, I'm a modern-day vagabond...so it's a very real possibility!)
One crazy week coming to an end...It's only the third week of the semester and I'm already pr'ing for a snow day.
To answer your questions on Noel...
"Do you still feel as though you are in that 'season'?" No. I was a mess for about 2 1/2 yrs and believe I'm through the worst of it.
"And if not, would you consider pursuing Noel?" Yes (and no). "No" in that I have no intentions of doing so anytime in the near future. "Yes" in that if our Father ever placed us within close proximity of one another I'd consider it. No guarentees on whether or not I would act, but I would consider it.
I had used Noel as an example in that sometimes the most incredible G'ly women imaginable are ignored or overlooked not because men see something that makes them cringe, but rather because of the season they are in. This may or may not aply to your story and your questions as to why guys look to some women and ignore others.
Lastly, be thankful that your patriotism was all that was called into question over your lack of enthusiasm for the Commander in Chief. When I was in Utah, I had a number of people call into question my faith in the Son based on my stance of the "conflict" in Iraq. Carter in '08?
So I'm taking a stab in the dark when I say that I think you may have a while to go before that "snow day" hits. Sorry-- Hang in there! :)
Your answers make perfect sense now. (Sorry if I was being too personal.) It has helped in the clarification of things.
And lastly, I have to say that you're not alone with your faith being questioned. Mine has been too! I think it's just plain crazy!
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