No longer young and not that pretty...

I've been stalking the flickr scene as of recent. I am LOVING all the cool photography people are posting and the creative challenges you can find within.

One day I stumbled upon this group.

The challenge itself seemed simple enough.

Take off your makeup. Take a picture. Then post. The guidelines say you're supposed to do so without the help of editing. Yet by the looks of the posted photographs, I'd like to think that those people didn't really read the instructions. (Either that or they are just incredibly beautiful...or they've got really cool cameras...or they know how to make the most of their lighting...or ???)

I should probably stop with my excuses now and get back to my point (if I even have one).

So last week I was all inspired. I thought of how I really don't wear that much makeup so it shouldn't be that big of deal. I thought of how I live in this place and rarely "make myself presentable."

I was not afraid. This would just be the raw...*real* me. No big deal.

No big deal for some, maybe!

Let's just say I've had this picture for over a week and am still hesitant to post. But that's definitely me, alright. With no makeup. (And apparently no visible eyelashes, either.) Shhh....

But what I've found most challenging in completing this task has very little to do with my looks. (OK, that part is somewhat challenging. I'll spare you all the details of my critical self, but I thought I should insert utter honesty here.) I see this "me" everyday.

The challenging part has come in the form of questions.

Questions like:
Why is it hard for me to let people see this? Why do I care? What am I afraid of? A lot of you have seen this "bare" side of me before. And some of you have even seen worse (i.e. when I'm sick).

It's hard for me to unpack it all, really. There's so much here. So much I'm thinking about and growing in.

But I feel it for myself....and for His Body. This need to be seen. To be real. To come without pretenses and still be accepted. I see it in the world around me. This desire to be loved even when we are at our worst. To be known for what's underneath all those layers.

Imagine what kind of world we would live in if everyone would literally "take off their makeup."

Frankly, I think we'd all see how very frail and broken we really are. Each and every one of us. We'd see those freckles...invisible eyelashes...aging lines...etc. We'd see that no one really has it all together. And that we are all just a little bit afraid that who we are will be based off of all that we are not.

I think it's a lie that Satan has used for a very long time to deceive God's children and His Body.

And so this is my challenge to you, my faithful readers...

Take off your makeup. (Literally and figuratively)
Go ahead.
And not just for yourself. But for those around you.
Post a picture. Share your heart. Be real.

The response might surprise you.

I'm growing more convinced the vulnerability begets vulnerability. And that *this* is exactly how God wants it to be.

May we encourage each other today in our strengths and our weaknesses as we grow together to become more like Him...

(Of course, every now and then, a little makeup can't hurt. After they've seen the real you.) ;)

Today I was the Pied Piper of SZ village.

I'm not kidding.

Everywhere I went, kids were coming out of the woodwork (or, more accurately stated, their mud homes) to play with me. It was as if I were playing some magical flute or pushing a snow cone cart (Oooh...now that would be a hit!).

But I wasn't. I was just available.

Available to tell stories...to teach songs...to play tag...and to love on these precious little ones who bring my heart so much joy.

It's funny to think that I wasn't really sure what to expect going into this time. Honestly, last week I caused quite the scene. And frankly, the men in this country aren't particularly keen on women causing scenes (or being seen, for that matter)...especially women of the foreign kind.

It looks as though all of that knee-work being done for me to have favor in the eyes of these people is being answered. And to top it all off, I think I may have already launched that kids program I've been dreaming of for the past 5 years...without even trying.

I love it when Dad surprises me like this!

Oh, that I would be open to His leading in the ebbs and flows, twists and turns of this crazy journey we call "life."

I still have nothing to say, but I thought I'd bore you all with some more randomness until inspiration strikes again.

*Right now I have my iTunes on shuffle. I didn't realize, but my music selection is extremely eclectic. And I'm finding it rather unfortunate that "shuffle" doesn't have a brain. I just went from the Indigo Girls to Chris Tomlin to some Christmas selection (oh how I wish it were time for that again). Anyway, that's NOT a good combination.

iTunes, I'm disappointed in you.

*Right now Accuweather says it's 102 degrees outside. On Tuesday it's supposed to be 110. I can hardly wait. ...For a break, that is.

*Speaking of which, I'm heading out of here in ONE month for a little vacation. I wasn't going to, but it's partly a team retreat (which means that part is paid for) and then I'm taking a few days at the end for alone time. I don't know who I was trying to kid, thinking I could be here for 8 months straight without a break?! Ha! I find that I'm already dreaming of air conditioning, Starbucks, short sleeves, and a hair cut. Just a little bit longer, I keep telling myself.

*I got in an argument/discussion with my staff today during our weekly meeting. They all want to build a bathroom for our use in this one particular village. It's going to cost approximately $100. Not that much, right? ...Right. Except there's principle involved.

When I asked them if the other people will be able to use it, they replied with a resounding "no."

You see, no one in the village has a bathroom either. They go out to their yard or the mountain or field or ??? And now my staff wants to come in and build one for ourselves, that no one else can use??? Are you kidding me?

They followed that up by telling me that next we will also build bathrooms for everyone else. That was, until I informed them that we don't have it in the budget to do so this year.

Grrr.

We are out there one or twice a week whereas the villagers LIVE under those conditions 24/7.

Of course, I'd like a bathroom as much as they would. But what kind of an example will this set??

Moments like these make me wish I could resign as their "boss" and simply be their "friend." They are really not going to like me if I tell them no.

Dear Void,
I need some advice.

*To end on a lighter note, you may have noticed I changed my blog header. Yep. Next thing you know, I'm going to be designing for Mac. (Ha!) Seriously though, does anyone know how to change the dimensions? It's rather large, I believe. But at least it's something different to look at. :)

So I really haven't much to say these days. I wish I did. I wish I had some profound words to share. Some deep insights into my soul to offer up to those curious enough to read. Some thought provoking ideas.

But I don't.

I've got nothing.

I am happy to report, however, that the past few days have been better than my last post would lead you to believe. So I thought I'd change things up on here a bit with a little list of the "GOOD"...

*After 3 days without electricity, our power finally returned. Thus, allowing me to turn on a fan. Which, in turn, allowed me to sleep at night. PTL!

*My friends from the coffee shop made the decision not to re-open. (That's the NOT good news.) BUT, in doing so, they had a little garage sale and I was able to buy a few things to make my room WAY more livable (not to mention, cute).

And since The Crushing One posted pics of her rockin' new curtains and The Creative One posted pics of her AMAZING house, I thought I'd give you a little insight into my room... (A & N-I thought you'd like to see how these things are being put to use.)

~The crate book shelf and olive green pillows...perfect for reading.








~The old door matched perfectly and makes a cool picture frame. (Not to mention adds a little color to my very WHITE walls. ---White walls not my choice, mind you.)






~And lastly, what was once used as a condiments table, is now enjoying this corner position and serving a mighty purpose as the place for "all things creative." Now all I need is a stool. :)





And there are other "GOOD" things I could post, but I think I'll save those for a different day. I'm really tired right now and am heading home for the night.

Thanks for dropping by...

This morning, after 24 hours without power and a very hot and restless night of sleep, I walked down to the kitchen to return some dishes I had left in my room the day prior. It was 5:30am and I couldn't sleep any longer.

Three steps in and the next thing I know I'm practically doing the splits. My foot had slipped on a huge puddle of water that appeared courtesy of the refrigerator defrosting. My leftover coffee from the day before was left dripping down the side of the wall and I found myself sitting in said puddle.

NOT the best start to my day. I wondered if it was too late to turn around and start over.

5:30am + lack of sleep + falling + spilled coffee= a not so happy strawberry blonde

But this, too, shall pass...

The Creative One left a comment for me on my last post, promising that she would go for a drive and to Starbucks, if I would go to the village here and sing songs with the kids and make them laugh.

T, thanks for the challenge and perspective. Today I did just that. (Well, ok. Not so much the singing part. But I did make them laugh hysterically as I chased them up and down the dusty path playing a wicked game of "tag" for over an hour.)

I now have a village of mothers who love me (even though they can't understand how I'm better with their children than they are since I don't have any of my own) and about 50 kids who were all yelling my name and waving goodbye as we drove away this afternoon.

Ahh, *this* is what I was created for.

This past week was difficult in many ways. And honestly, the rain continues to pour. But tonight, at least, my heart is full.

Imagining...

Right now I'm wishing I could get in a car and go for a drive.

By myself.

Somewhere other than here.

I'd pick up a Starbucks' Iced Caramel Macchiato on my way out of town. And as I pulled away, I'd roll down my windows and blare my music. Nobody would stare at me because I didn't have my head covered. However, they might stare because I'd be singing rather loudly to whatever came on my iPod.

I'd drive and drive until the cares of the world faded away. And then I'd stop.

I'm guessing my car would eventually lead me back to the patio on Broadway Place, where I'd gather around a fire pit with friends for the rest of the evening. Star-gazing. Talking. Laughing. Drinking. Eating. Enjoying.

Of course I know this is not my reality. But it's summer here and this is what I'm imagining. A girl can dream, ok?

So I was walking to the office this morning and I could have sworn I smelled someone brewing a fresh pot of Starbucks. I promise. Of course, I know this couldn't possibly be the case. But it got me thinking.

I bet if I were stranded in the desert, my mirage would be Starbucks coffee as opposed to a pool of water.

Frightening? Maybe.

Telling? Most definitely.

It's Saturday evening. I just finished the first day of our work week. My head is hurting and it's time to take de-worming medicine.

Some days I like living here more than others.

While the Crushing One was here, we took many a "walking tour" around town. Here's a sampling of what we saw...

On our way back from the mosque we passed by this elderly man squatting in a doorway. I wasn't going to ask, but he was too cute to resist. I went back and kindly requested his permission to take his picture and he said, "Why not?" He then asked what we were doing, walking back and forth every day. (Geesh, are we that noticeable?!) And for the record...it wasn't every day, just the two days prior.





If you were to walk down this alleyway, you'd find my house. At the end, with the blue gate. On your way, you'd walk under grape vines (on the left) and pomegranate trees (on the right). If you time it just right, the neighbors might even invite you in for tea or dinner or a birthday party of some random relative. I love this alley, for at the end, I always find refuge.


If you look to the right after you pass the blue glass shop, you'll see this street. With the blue sky peeking out from atop the mud tunnel, this is one of my favorite views in the entire city.







Last, but not least, we saw these three boys. They never let go, but one boy did look back to see what I was up to. Ahh, childhood. When the days seem to go on forever and life is really, really good.

Me and my shadow....










More to come when the sun stops shining and my shadow is gone....

Every day on my way to work I pass by two beggars. Two different men, sitting on two different street corners asking for money. Every day it’s the same. One has a bandage around his face—making me wonder if he even has a nose. The other is an elderly gentleman that quietly looks up as I walk by and meekly asks for a gift. This is their life.

Sometimes the needs in this place are overwhelming. Some days I find myself with my heart hardening because I just don’t know what else to do. Other days I’m so filled with compassion that I find myself wishing, if just for a second, I could track down some millionaire who could step in and give lavishly to these people. But the truth is, deep down I know that the needs of these people stretch far beyond the financial arena.

I remember two years ago when I was teaching at Ozark. I had asked WL to come and share on the issue of poverty and disease to my night class. Throughout our two hours together he repeatedly made one statement that stuck with me: I hate being rich.

I hate being rich.

Some of you are probably thinking that I need less support. (I’m not saying that!) But it's true…I’m rich. And every day in this place I’m reminded of it. Every day at least one person asks me for something. Give me a book…give me money…give me medicine…give me a job…give me food…etc. Some days I just want to scream, “STOP ASKING ME FOR THINGS!”

But I’m rich.

I’m rich because I’ve been educated and can read and write my own language. I’m rich because I have a roof over my head, an indoor bathroom, and running water. I’m rich because there is never NOT a time when I don’t have food in my kitchen. I’m rich because I have clean drinking water ALL the time. I’m rich because I can treat myself whenever sickness may arise. I’m rich because I am hardly ever sick to begin with. I’m rich because I have a family who loves me and supports me in this crazy work. I’m rich because I’ve got amazing people all over the world who are partnering with me to bring life to this dry land. I’m rich because I have the Word in my own language and have my own copy in hand right now. I’m rich (insert a million more reasons here)….

I’m rich and no matter how much I hate it, it’s a fact.

And so I find myself constantly on my knees, asking Dad for guidance in these matters. Asking Dad to let me see these people the way He does. Asking for compassion, instead of frustration. Patience instead of annoyance.

He’s working on me in this area. I hear Him speaking His words to me. Words like “freely you have received; freely you give.” Or “If they knew who it was they were talking to, they would ask for Living Water.” Or “And then He looked and had compassion on the crowd.”

It’s tough. It’s not in my nature. But it’s truth.

I * am * rich.

I just had to post a few pictures from my day yesterday. I seriously live with one of the cutest little boys in the world!

Today the Crushing One is coming (hopefully) for a visit. She was supposed to have come on Thursday...and then on Friday...and...well, we live in CA! So now it's the work week again and I guess we'll just have to fit "fun" in between working hours, IF she makes it today.

Randomness: Yesterday I was speaking to this lady at fellowship and she asked if I had any plans to leave on summer holiday. I told her no and her response was basically, "Good luck." I informed her that she was not very encouraging and she responded by saying, "I tried it once. Last summer. I made it to the middle of July."

Great. At least we've had a couple days break from the heat, so I'm feeling hopeful. Come August I may be thinking otherwise.

For all my scrapping friends...here's a picture of the page I did yesterday....

It's not a very good shot since I took it at night and used flash, but you get the general idea. I love creating things!

What are you working on these days?

(EDIT: I just came back to delete this picture of my scrap page. I decided against it. I don't know why, but posting this here makes me feel completely vulnerable. Why? I don't have a clue. Art can be so intensely personal at times. It's not like I wouldn't share this with you if we were hanging out. I guess it's just my choice. So this is me...sharing my art with the world!)



And last, but not least, here's another random photo from "The Loft." It's my new favorite place to be. (And yes, those are really my curtains.) :-)

Today the sky was overcast and the temps were much cooler than the balmy weather we've been experiencing as of late. I woke up almost giddy to find my room in shade instead of its usual sun-filled illumination. Cloudy days are simply perfect for a Thursday/Saturday at home. Cloudy days have this unintentional way of slowing me down. (Which is odd, when I really think about it. I tend to drink more coffee when it's cloudy/rainy so you'd think it would have the opposite affect. Hmm.)

Anyway, today was a slow day. To be quite honest, I enjoyed a whole lot of nothing-ness. Reading...writing...scrapbooking...watching Grey's and Spiderman 3. It's been lovely. Nothing too exciting, but refreshing all the same.

I think it's high time for a little musical update. :)

I know you all are dying to discover what I'm listening to these days. So your waiting is over.

Here's a little sampler of what's on my May Playlist...(By Artist and Song)
*The Last Kiss Soundtrack--OK, I can't pick one or two songs. I pretty much love the WHOLE album. What can I say? Zach Braff has great taste in music. :)

*Regina Spektor--Fidelity; Samson; On the Radio...I love her creativity and voice.

*The Weepies--The World Spins Madly On....Perfect to listen to while driving out to the village or around town. The world does spin madly on.

*Red Hot Chili Peppers--Snow (Hey Oh)...Fun, fun. This song makes me happy every time.

*The Streets--Fit But Don't You Know It ...This song is clever, but only listen to it if you don't mind a few curse words every now and then. (They're British. What do you expect?)

*Joshua Radin--Live Sessions--all of it...This guy is my new love. His music is the calm in the midst of my storm.

*Mat Kearney--Where We Gonna Go From Here...Excellent question, Mat. Excellent question. Let's start with a new album from you. How does that sound?

*Imogen Heap--Goodnight and Go...With words like, "Why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you," you can't go wrong. :)


I should probably also admit to the occasional Avril, Beyonce, Nelly, Will Smith, etc. that make it on to my list (don't judge me). You probably already assumed they were there anyway.

So what are you listening to these days? What's on the radio in the States (besides Justin Timberlake)? Anything new I should be aware of?

I just had a funny conversation with two of my male teammates after lunch. One was describing this girl as "fru-fru" and then, seeing as how I was the only female present for this conversation, he turned to me and said, "Don't worry, L. I don't think of you that way."

Hmmm. I know in his mind that was a compliment so I don't hold it against him. But he should have probably stopped there. He went on to further explain that he sees me as a "semi-psychedelic wanna-be." (H, I'll give you one guess who said this!)

A WHAT?

I had to ask for an explanation on that one.

Somehow he equates the fact that I don't take things for face value and that I'm a "thinker" and "smart" with being "semi-psychedelic."

My guess: he was digging himself into a hole, and couldn't find his way out.

No matter his point, two things came to mind from this discussion:
1. My teammates don't really know me all that well yet. --This isn't a bad thing. We only meet together once a week or so, and when we do, we are usually busy being "deep." They've yet to really see "Fun L" come out of the bag.

Plus, I've never been outside of the country with these people. I guess it's good that they think I'm "un-fru fru." But the truth is, if we ever went on break together, I think they'd be surprised. I'm girlie. I like the color pink....lip gloss...wearing cute clothes...and shopping, among other things. (I know. Those of you who know me are S*H*O*C*K*E*D.)

Which leads me to my second thought...

2. I'm different here. ---This also isn't necessarily a bad thing. I remember last summer when Kar-Kar told me that she loves the fact that I love the finer things in life, but yet I still choose to live in a place like the Ancient City. Or how one minute I can carry on a 45 minute discussion about the latest trends in head bands and the next minute you'll find me arguing my views of war and politics. This is me. Some times I think I have multiple personalities. (Think: Sybil. OK, don't. Watching that movie in Freshman Psych scared me.)

The point is, that I guess I have to change to live in this place. My dress, language, food, living conditions, independence, safety, etc.....none of it is the same. It can't be if I want to make a difference here. And you know what? That's ok. I'm learning (if ever so slowly) that those things don't define me. None of them are where I place my identity. None of these things give me value*or meaning*or purpose.

Donald Miller in "Searching for God Knows What" says this...

The circus, and I am talking about life now, really sucks. It feels like we all have these little acts, these stupid things we do that we all hang our hats on. The Fall has made monkeys of us, for crying out loud. Some of us are athletes and others of us are physicists, and some of us are good-looking and some of us are rich, and we all are running around, in a way, trying to get a bunch of people to clap for us, trying to get a bunch of people to say we are normal, we are healthy, we are good. And there is nothing wrong with being beautiful or being athletic or being smart, but those are some of the pleasures of life, not life’s redemption. –pg.175

So every now and then I need a reminder. A reminder that it doesn't matter what clothes I'm wearing. Or how far along I've come in learning this language. Or who thinks I'm funny. Or smart.

For those things? Well, they are just pleasures.

My redemption comes from Him. My identity is in Him. And you wanna know the coolest part?

Rumor has it, that HE's madly in love with me. Semi-psychedelic or not.

There's No Place Like Home

I just thought I'd write a quick post to let you all know that I've finally made it back to the Ancient City. It was quite the ordeal yesterday, as it often is in this place, but I did make it.

It's been nice to sleep in my own bed, take a long shower, open the SIX packages and TWO cards I received in the mail while I was gone, play with Little D, and prepare for a new week at work.

It's good to be back.

Low Expectations

I know I blogged earlier, but I've received word that the flight to the Ancient City is canceled for tomorrow as well. Several people have called to tell me, but I have yet to confirm it with the airlines. My guess?...It's true. I apologized to the only other female traveling on today's flight...telling her that every time I travel this happens. I don't think she was amused.

Tonight a group of us went to eat at the Turkish restaurant and then up to the InterCon hill. T, you will be sad to know that the swings are gone! YES, we were all very, very sad. In fact, we stood in silence for a few moments just staring at the empty space that once held something so dear.

The swings were one of the few places in this city where all of your troubles seemed to disappear. You could overlook the city and when timed just right, you could even catch a beautiful sunset behind the rocky edges of the mountains.

There we could let our head coverings fall off and feel the wind on our face as our hair blew freely in the breeze. The chains were so long you might have thought they reached all the way to heaven. With your eyes closed, you could even imagine that you were being pushed by God Himself.

It was a lovely place. Those swings.

Thanks for the memories, swings. You will be sadly, sadly missed.

Yesterday I was beginning to feel like I had had enough of this place. I was annoyed by the beggars, frustrated at the staring men, angry with the greedy taxi drivers, sick of the insane traffic, and impatient with anyone in between.

Honestly, there are days when I love this place and then there are days when I want to cry, scream and/or pull my hair out. On a really "good" day, there's quite possibly the combination of all 3 of those reactions running through my mind.

Today it was the combo.

I'm writing this post, not from the comforts of my own room, but the room I've been staying in for the past 2 weeks. After a very long morning waiting at the airport, they canceled my flight... for no reason!!! I tell you, there has not been a single trip that I have made in and out of this city since my return, where at least one of my flights was not canceled. Grrr.

For those of you who think I'm a saint for doing what I do, you should have seen me today. I was anything but!

I guess I should be happy that this gives me one more night to hang out with friends, but I think I'm really just ready to be "home." I'll try again tomorrow and keep you posted if it happens.

"I'm finished," she said as she took off her gloves and turned back to her desk. "For good?" I asked. "Yes," she replied. A huge sigh of relief and gratitude filled the air as this long and seemingly, drawn out, process of a root canal had come to a completion.

I felt like doing a little dance right then and there in the dentist's office. But seeing as how I could never even get her to crack a smile the entire time leading up to that point, I decided against it.

Instead I headed straight over to the airline office to book my return flight home. I went in...explained to the lady that I needed a ticket to the Ancient City...she asked when...and then without hesitation, told me that there were no seats available for tomorrow's flight. WHAT??

I kind of thought to myself that this wasn't even funny any more, but what was I to do? So I booked my flight for Wednesday which, on the plus side, means that I'll make it home just in time for the weekend. :)

What a crazy ordeal this has been! 2 weeks. 2 weeks since I left the Ancient City for a "3-4 day" trip! And to think that I was so proud of myself for not over-packing this time around!

But besides the pain and dental visits, my time here really has been a blessing. One that I wasn't planning, but one that I believe was an unexpected gift from Above.

Here are just a few highlights:
1. An afternoon that consisted of lunch at the Thai restaurant (my fave) followed by iced coffee and great conversation at K Coffeehouse with H.
2. Being silly with S. (You haven't seen half of our Photo Booth shots!)
3. Sharing music with J.
4. Movies, movies, movies (and the first season of Grey's Anatomy).
5. Sitting out by the fountain and garden of the fancy hotel at night with H and J.

I'm sure I could go on, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. My heart is encouraged and I've been refreshed just by being here. Who knew a root canal could bring such blessings?

Word of Advice: Never see a dentist that's having a bad day. It can only mean that a lot of pain will inevitably follow.

Good News: The mean dentist finished the root canal part of the process today. I have to wait a day and then she'll put the final filling in on Monday. (Hopefully I'll be back in the Ancient City on Tuesday.)

Bad News: My Beloved Cards have had a rough week. I'll give them that. If you don't know, one of their pitchers was killed in a car accident last weekend. At this exact moment, they are playing the Houston Astros and I just checked the score. I may or may not have cussed.


Feliz Cinco de Mayo...and National Scrapbooking Day! (How nerdy am I?) :)

Ramblings from an Insomniac

Another silly photo from photo booth. That little camera on my computer is way too much fun, I tell ya! Hours of entertainment.

This is the second night in a row that I can't get to sleep. It's 1am and I'm not in the least bit tired. Not good for my body clock but perfect for moon gazing (and catching friends online).

Right now the moon is shining so brightly through my window that I think I could read a book by its light. It's lovely. A few bright stars twinkle in the distance. Silence fills the cool night air. It's so peaceful. Moments like this remind me exactly why it is that I love the late hours of the evening.

Nothing much in the way of news from here. The last 2 days have been pretty low-key. Just chilling with friends...watching movies...laughing...listening to good music...reading books. Soon I'll be heading back to life as normal. I'm trying to enjoy the last remaining days of this "holiday."

Tomorrow (well, today actually) I'll be re-visiting the dentist. I'm hoping that I'm healed enough now for her to finish her work. We'll see! My teammates are threatening to open some packages I've received if I'm not back by Monday. :) It is time to get "home."

So it was interesting tonight as a group of us were sitting around talking about life in this place... how it changes us for good or bad. We were sharing how it's hard to fit in when we are back in the States, as both parties have a hard time understanding the life of the other person. Someone pointed out how even something as simple as dental work takes so much more work/thought in this place. I can't just call up the doctor and see her that day. No, I have to book a flight...get a place to stay...not know how long I'm going to be there...etc., etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. And I do have very dear and precious friends in the States that I love and connect with. It's just that sometimes these worlds are such a contrast. Often times I don't even take into account the variety of stress that I experience here. Why would I? Isn't this normal? It is for me.

This is my life. Weird, I know.

Fun Times with Photo Booth...

Remember that time when I thought I was going on a 3 day trip
and it turned out to be 3 WEEKS????

Seriously. I didn't pack for this.

I don't really feel like writing about my dental issues at the moment. All I will say is that I'm now here in Ktown until at least Sunday...maybe Monday.

I'm ok though. Just hanging out with friends. Line dancing. Watching movies. Drinking milkshakes. Life really isn't all that bad.

The Saga Continues

Scene from today...

Dentist: (Begins drilling or picking or pulling or something on the tooth) How's your tooth today?

Me: (Gauze plus two hands in mouth) umm...it's ok. It's really sensitive to pressure though. Like, I can't touch it or bite down on it or anything.

Dentist: Hmmm. OK. (Carries on drilling or picking or pulling or something.)

Me: (Flinching while mentally thinking that this pain is not real)

Dentist: Do you need anesthetic today?

Me: Well....ummm...(thinking that I can tough it out)...are you going to be working a lot on this?

Dentist: No. This won't take long at all.

Me: OK then, no.

Dentist: (Begin pushing right on the nerve)

Me: (nearly jumping out of my chair) YEAH, I need anesthetic!

Dentist: (Proceeds to work for the next HOUR and a HALF!!!)

Me: Mentally--Did she really ask me if I needed anesthetic? What kind of a question is that? You work for over an hour on my tooth and you think I don't need drugs???

And...SCENE.

*************************************************************************
So it doesn't look like things are progressing as nicely as I had hoped. The dentist said I need more time to heal before she can do the rest of the work. I have to wait until Thursday to see her again which means I may or may not be able to head back to the Ancient City on Friday.

Oh the joys of dental issues!

I guess it's also a good thing I like chocolate pudding and milkshakes. :)

The dentist had a cancellation today and was able to get me in earlier than expected. I think it took her all of 3 minutes to determine that I needed a root canal. She began the process this afternoon and informed that I had finished the worst of it today. At that moment I looked much like a stroke victim, with the entire left side of my mouth numb. I naively thought that it wasn't really all that bad and couldn't figure out what everyone was always talking about.

Now, 6 hours later, I get it. I'd do anything for another shot of Novocaine. My guess is it's going to be a loooong night.

FYI: Root canals hurt. A lot.

The end.

Will the real dentist please stand up?

It was a good thought. This idea that I could go to Ktown for a quick 3 day trip...see the dentist, get my tooth fixed, enjoy some quality time with friends, and return home in time for another week of work. Then reality strikes and I'm thrust into the knowledge that I am living within a country and cultural context that never seems to work on my time table.

And so I find myself still sitting in Ktown. Still waiting to see the dentist.

Apparently the phone number I was given to contact the dentist here was incorrect. I should have known when the man who answered didn't speak English, but I asked him 3 times if this was the dentist and 3 times he confirmed to me that it was. So, trusting this to be the case, I set up an appointment for Friday at 9am.

Friday morning I made my way over to the other side of town, found the office, greeted the guards at the gate, and was promptly informed that it was Friday and the dentist was not at work. I explained that I was told to come at this time and they asked me to call that number again and ask about the situation.

The same national guy answered the phone. We exchanged greetings. I told him I needed to see the dentist and that he had told me to come at that time. He then said that he wasn't at the office. It hit me in that moment, that perhaps, he was the dentist. (The foreign dentist I was/am planning to see is female.) I asked if he worked for this certain company and he said no.

Bummer. He was a dentist, just not the one I needed/wanted to see. So since Fridays are like Sundays and yesterday (Saturday) was a national holiday, I could not get through to the real dentist until this morning.

I now have an appointment set for tomorrow morning at 8:15am...I think.

On the plus side of all of this, I've been enjoying some quality time with friends. Late night conversations, coffee, eating out, bonfire at the "Shhh," DreamGirls, truthful moments of "kiss and tell." What more could a girl ask for?!

I'm just hoping my tooth doesn't fall out in the meantime! :)

I'm going on a road trip, of sorts, in the morning. It's a bit of a spontaneous adventure. Not one I had previously been planning (or even thinking about), but one that has been brought on by the fact that I'm having tooth issues. (Read: a little bit of my tooth fell out yesterday and since I've been avoiding the increased pain for the past several weeks, I figured time was running out.)

So yeah, I'm headed to the dentist. Only there isn't one in this city. (Well, at least not one I'd trust.) So this morning I booked a flight for Ktown and will hopefully be seeing the one and only foreign dentist in this entire country some time in the next couple of days.

I'm just grateful that I don't have to leave the country to get help!

In between my time with the dentist, I plan on seeing lots of friends!! (Yay!) I might even be too busy to write on this thing. (Gasp!)

Just when I've started becoming predictable, I go and throw a curve ball ;)....

"Honesty...is such a lonely word."

Anybody remember that old school Billy Joel song? (And don't worry, you don't have to be afraid to admit you all are as old as me. Well, at least some of you. :)

Anyway, it just popped into my head. Randomness. That's what I'm all about.

So here's my honesty...

I've been missing my friends lately. (I think I might have mentioned that a time or two these past few days.)

I hate to use the word "lonely" because, really, how can one be "lonely" when one's surrounded by people ALL the time? Besides, it sounds so desperate. So weak. So...like I need people. And we all know that tough girls like myself don't "need" people. Right?

Wrong.

I'm learning this. If ever so slowly, I'm learning. It's how we were designed. To live in community with one another and with our Father. It's just like my future husband (who still doesn't even know my name or that I exist) Donald Miller says, "We are relational indeed."

The other day, my dear friend T blogged about her own desire for community. I remember Little J and I spending hours talking about it and longing for it while I was living in JoMo. And I even think the "Patio Gang" has joked about it at times.

But what does this actually look like? And how do we get there?

And more importantly...When am I going to have a friend close by who'd be willing to go jump in the fountain with me late at night or do the Thriller dance at the drop of a hat??? OK, I'm just kidding. Kind of. But, no, seriously...any takers? ;)

I could have written about this yesterday, but for fear of looking like a total nerd (save the comments please) posting twice in one day, I decided to hold off. That does not, however, mean that my joy has wained. In fact, I'm still smiling as I type.

Technology is an amazing thing (when it works for you). And yesterday morning it did just that, as I actually got to video chat with some of my favorite people in the whole world. To say that it made my day would be a HUGE understatement. I think it made my week….possibly even my life! (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but you get the point.)

The thousands of miles between us seemed to disappear, if only for a few moments, as everyone sat around the fire pit, enjoying their spinach/artichoke dip, s’mores, and fun beverages (like my morning coffee)….catching up…cracking old jokes (Scott, the "tree" comments never get old, huh?) and some new ones (Janet-courtesy of Laffy Taffy)…sarcastic comments…awkward moments (thanks Pete for always trying to hook me up with the “nearest” eligible bachelor)...and laughter.

For about an hour, I was back in B/N. Man, it does a heart good.

I do have to confess, while I'm writing about my "mini-break from reality," that a dare was laid on the table. Unfortunately I was unable to complete it yesterday. I kept trying to think of ways to throw in a line from “Baby Got Back” into ordinary conversation, and while it was great at cracking me up on the inside, outwardly it just didn't happen. It probably would have been lost in translation, right? So I'm going to try and make it work when I'm around predominantly English speakers. I'll keep you posted. It *will* happen.

So that's it. That is/was the highlight of my week. Now if only I could transport everyone HERE. My life would be complete. ;)

Plans. Often times they are overrated.

Last night I arrived home from work early. I was feeling productive after running a bunch of errands so I thought I would go with that feeling and work out while I still had some adrenaline pumping through my veins. It doesn’t take much to unmotivate me from working out, so I thought I’d help myself out by avoiding temptation. (Remember our plan, Tricks? I’m trying to follow through.)

In the midst of my routine, thoughts ran through my mind as to how the rest of my evening would look. And I have to say; I was pleased.

5:00-5:30pm—Finish working out and take a shower
5:30-6:00pm—Make & eat dinner
6:00-??pm—Read, help J with the kids, and enjoy a leisurely evening at home.
9:00pm—Go to bed early so I can get up super early in the morning to catch the crew on the patio!

And for the most part, I was right on schedule. Until 5:30pm.

Knock on my door. (It’s J.) She informs me that one of the neighbors had just stopped by and invited us to her brother’s second birthday party. It starts at 7pm.

Me: (In my pajamas, hair wet, no make up) Really?
J: Yeah. She invited us all.
Me: OK.

Change of plans.

I got dressed. Put some makeup on. Helped J get the kids ready and by 7pm we were walking down our alley to the neighbors.

They were thrilled to see us.

The next 2 hours were filled with conversations, dancing, laughter, little boys with sharp objects (they actually gave the 2 year old the knife to cut his own cake!), more dancing, and pictures.

We left their house at a little after 9pm, just as they were insisting we stay and eat dinner. (Sometimes it pays to have kids with bed times. They are great for excuses!)

So like I said…plans are often times overrated. It’s the unexpected invitations that could make your evening something worth writing about later.

Guess what?

YEP, you guessed it...I'm smart! I figured out the problem with the profile pic. :) Whoot Whoot!

And guess what else?...I downloaded the clean version of Avril's latest hit, "Girlfriend." I'm rockin' out in my office as I type. (Thanks for the recommendation, Trix!) I'm a sucker for anything that sounds like it has a cheer in it. "Hollaback Girl" being a case in point.

And guess what else?...If all goes well, I will be hanging out on the Gaff's patio with some of my favorite people in the whole world in the morning (night for them) via ichat. It's the backyard season opener there in B/N and I can hardly wait!

Oh how I miss my friends. Seriously. Like, a LOT. I miss them. As in, "you can't even imagine how much," I miss them.

And lastly...guess what?... That's it. I don't have anything else for you to guess. :) But I am trying to figure out how to have some fun in this place. Life can be too serious at times. I get consumed with work and home and the dramas that come with living here. I need some form of escape.

Anybody have any ideas or dares for me? Something I can do and post pictures of or write about? (And yes, I'm fully aware of how I ended that sentence with a prepositional phrase. Bad. Very bad.)

Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

So I've been trying to figure out a way to post a new photo in the "About Me" section, but have been unsuccessful up to this point. I'm going to try it here and see what happens. Sorry to disappoint if you thought I had some great, exciting news to share. :) I'm just really bored with all these old photos. AND...looking at that Starbucks pic makes me want to go there. I have to tell myself that someday I'll be enjoying my favorite location once again.

***********************************************************************************
OK...so I just tried it and it still didn't work. For some reason the URL's are not working these days. Anybody have any tips on this???

T.G.I.W.! It's the start of our weekend here and I couldn't be happier! Whoot Whoot!

It's been a long week. I'm ready for bed and it's...4:20pm. Is that bad? Although I just downloaded the latest Regina Spektor album and it's taking me to another world. (Thanks for all the new i-tune cards, people!!). I love it!

So today was *interesting* to say the least.

I came into work early, as my CDP staff and I wanted to run to the hospital to visit Sally before we left for the village. It took a few minutes of research, but we soon found out that Sally had been released yesterday. PTL! So we headed off to the "dE."

We arrived in DS and were setting up the room when, guess who walked in?....Yep, Sally! She was wearing a bright green outfit, sunglasses and a huge smile. She looked like a miniature movie star. I was thrilled. It was like seeing a completely different person than the one who lay unresponsive in her hospital bed just 2 days before.

According to her parents, the doctors had told them she had a tumor before looking at the x-rays. (Nothing like the medical system here, I tell ya!) After they examined the x-rays, they decided that she actually had typhoid...not a brain tumor. WHAT???

In that instant, part of me rejoiced while the other part of me was really ticked at those STUPID doctors!! Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster of this family?! Arrgh. It makes me mad just thinking about it.

BUT she's better. Sally is better! And here's the other cool thing...when her mom came into the women's meeting today, she thanked me profusely and then basically commanded me to pray for her again (in front of about 20 other women that had arrived previously). My co-worker said it might cause problems later, but I told her I couldn't refuse an opportunity to pray for someone.

So I did.

Now, I don't know what that means...or the effects of my simple words. But there are seeds planted. And I was obedient to the H.S. in that moment. (Who knows, I may be home sooner than you think! ...Ha!)

And then, beyond all of that, there were the conversations. Today, around the lunch table and again on the drive back into the city, serious discussions with my national co-workers took place. I can't go into the specifics of them here (And, no, none of them have changed their minds on anything), but they were open. And Truth was shared.

Looking back now, today just seemed like one of those days when His presence seemed so very near. And I don't mean the kind of nearness that fills you with peace...but the kind that makes you want to take your shoes off and bow. For I was almost certain that the burning bush must have been right around the corner.

Today seemed THAT big.

Green Acres...

I'm a city girl at heart. Small town girl by nature of where my parents raised me. And country/farm girl....umm....never.

Well, except for when I'm out in the village.

It's strange really. Maybe it's just a temporary fascination. Like when you go on vacation or during the honeymoon stages of marriage (so I've heard). The change of scenery seems to make everything come alive...if only for a moment.

Today I found myself standing on a hillside, smack-dab in the middle of about 200 sheep and goats, as we arrived to the "dE" in the height of their work day. Men, women and children were working all together, hustling the animals to and fro...cutting their hair, getting their milk, and moving them along to the next step. The animals themselves were making quite the commotion...a symphony of bah's and boo's, grunts and groans...blending together to make a kind of music of sorts.

And there I stood. A bit lost in the moment, yet completely at home in the foreign-ness of it all. I was struck again with how much I love this place and these people...especially those under-served.

Sure I know that I spend, on average, about 24 hours out of my week in the village. That leaves...well, that leaves a lot of other hours remaining. (Sorry all my math friends, I didn't want to think that much.) A lot of other hours that I spend in my nice office or comfortable house. Hours on my computer that's powered by city electricity. Hours in the bathroom where I have more than a hole in the ground and water that runs freely (and HOT water at that!). Hours in my bed...traveling in a car.

Hours that are a far cry from the realities of village life.

So...like I said, maybe my love for the village is a temporary/momentary fascination? For some reason, though, it doesn't seem to stop me from dreaming of living there some day. (Of course, I'm pretty sure the villagers aren't quite ready for a foreigner to move into the neighborhood, nor am I quite ready for such a transition.)

But there's the thought.

And maybe that idea will never come to pass? Maybe a few months down the road I'll look back at this post and ask myself what in the world was I thinking?

But right now...in this moment...I'm basking in His goodness and the privilege I have of spending 24 hours of my week investing in these areas.

For such a time as this...

Request...

A few weeks ago I, along with my national co-workers, were walking along the muddy road of DS village. As we rounded the corner, the cutest little girl, around 12 years old, came running up to us with a plate full of homemade yoghurt. She greeted each of us with her precious smile and warm embrace and then told us that her mother was sending this dish as a "thank you" for our help.

"Thanks for what?," you're asking?

Rewind with me to a couple weeks before that, when our CDP staff had been doing a house-to-house survey in this particular village. Upon arrival into one of the homes, they informed our team that their daughter was ill. After listening to the symptoms, our staff recommended the mental health hospital that was not too far away and was run by another NGO in town (the one they formerly worked for).

The following week, this family took their daughter to that mental health hospital, where she was examined and given medicine which apparently was working. (Hence, the "thank you" plate of yoghurt.)

Until yesterday.

Yesterday our team was back out working in DS when we were told that this little girl had become extremely ill over the weekend. The family had to bring her all the way into the city, where she was/is currently being kept at the hospital.

A little bit ago, I went with one of my co-workers to visit. The sparse conditions of the building only added to the feelings of anxiety and despair that filled the air. After a room-to-room search of bunches of sick little kids, we finally came across "Sally."

Instead of her sweet smile, we were greeted by her mother, as Sally lay their limp and unresponsive. My heart broke.

Sally apparently has a tumor on her brain. The doctors have suggested radiation. The family is trying to decide what to do.

As I sat there, holding Sally's hand, I was at a loss for words. I asked her mom if it would be ok if I prayed for her, and she agreed. It was all that I could do...and everything that I could do.

HE is able to do immeasurably more than all that we ask or imagine.

So now I'm rallying the troops.

Would you please join with me in asking Dad to heal this sweet little girl...."Sally." Would you ask that His power be shown in and through this situation and that somehow, somehow, He would be seen. Would you ask that He would use me and our team to be His instruments of love and peace and presence in this time?

Thank YOU!

I'll keep you posted as I find out more. Until then, I'll meet you before the Throne as we intercede for this precious child and her family....

I just returned from another fun-filled day in the village. My brain is fried, as usual, after 6+ hours of speaking and listening to another language (well, maybe 2 other languages when you consider the villagers practically have their own). I brought my ipod with me today and on our way back in to the city, I informed my co-workers that I was taking a trip to America and would be back by the time we reached the office. They all laughed. I was serious. My head felt like it was going to explode and I needed an escape.

Music. Sweet music.

Now I'm back from my journey and finishing a few things up at the office. I don't really feel like writing out a play-by-play of my day, but I thought I'd share with all of you faithful blog readers some random thoughts that have passed through my mind since this morning. In no particular order....

*Did she really say 10 years old is a good age to get engaged?

*Oh, look at the baby camels grazing on the mountainside!

*The hills are soo green right now. (OK, not "green" like IL in the spring "green", but "green" for the fact that I live in a country which has been in drought for the past 20 years "green.")

*Yep, that little boy definitely just lost his pants in a room full of women. I'm guessing he'll be embarrassed about that some day. Maybe.

*I could use a shower. The second one of the day. Is it really this hot in APRIL??

*I wonder what these women would do if I walked over there and smoked their hooka pipe?

*THIS is exactly what called me to this place 5 years ago. I wonder why it's taken me so long to get here?

One last picture from my day.

Nothing too exciting to blog about. No piercings or tattoos this year. However, I did receive some STRAWBERRY TWIZZLERS! And I even got to share them with my favorite 22 month old...The "D."

Man, I love this kid!!

Just because...

It's my birthday...

I'm...
*Listening to Will Smith's "Switch" on my computer. (And I don't even feel guilty).

*Remembering the fact that this is my 4th birthday since 2002 that I've celebrated in this country. (The picture to the right is from that first trip.)

They've all been memorable. Feathered cakes, salsa dancing, karaoke, dancing in our living room, a Dairy Queen run at the military base. Ahh. Good times. Good times.

*Eating some Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies that I received today in a package from home. Perfect. Simply perfect.

*Looking forward to a grilled chicken ceasar salad for dinner. The month of lettuce has begun!! :)

*Grateful for the well wishes I've received from people near and far. If for nothing else, birthdays are great for getting happy messages from your friends and family! I love it!

Happy Easter Everybody!

It's been a lovely day here in the Ancient City.

Quite a few of the ex-pat community took the day to travel into the countryside a bit and enjoy some time praising Our Creator in the midst of His creation.

And as we sat there--soaking up the beauty, fellowshipping with one another, and savoring some delectable food we brought for a picnic, I couldn't help but be reminded of this...He came to give us life. And not just life meaning the mundane activities that fill up our days. But life in abundance.

I personally hope to continue walking in that abundance...in that goodness...in that fullness of Him.

And I hope that wherever this finds you, you will be able to do the same.

Rejoice! He has risen!

On a positive note...

Sorry if I've been a bit down these last few weeks. It seems like it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride around here lately.

But today is Friday (like Sunday in the States). And it's gorgeous outside. And I'm feeling good.

I spent some time on my rooftop this afternoon--soaking up the Vitamin D, reading "Velvet Elvis," and listening to some happy music.

And even though the challenges of life here don't just seem to disappear, it's nice to have some moments of refreshment in the midst of them.

Rob Bell writes about how being a good "cross-cultural" worker isn't about transporting God from one place to the next. It's about pointing out where God already is. He goes on to say that, "You see God where others don't. And then you point him out."

I love days like today. Days when God is so visible in all His goodness.

He is here.

I just need to help point Him out.

And sometimes...sometimes....I need others to do that for me.

Sometimes my life seems so far out of my control it's not even funny. I'm sure that's how it's supposed to be, what with God being God and all. But still...

Right now I don't really have the words to express all of the reasons why I say that. I just have a heavy heart.

My friends had to close their coffee shop here in town yesterday.
A & J had to move out of their house due to some serious threats on their life.
And in a matter of 3 days my friends' lives have been turned upside down.

Some days the wicked web of sin is so visible in this place, I can hardly stomach it.
And some days it seems as though evil prevails.

But it doesn't.

And I have to fight to convince myself of that.

As I sat with my friends yesterday, offering up chocolate for happiness, I was reminded how little control we have over anything.

Our lives are not our own. The battle is not *ours* to win.

It's HIS.

And in the end...

It all comes back to Him. The One who conquered death to give us life victoriously.

To the one who is “more than just a pretty face”… To the one who has traveled with me to China, Europe and the Middle East… To the one whose mouth once “tasted like a chimney”… To the one whose college roommate believed she was Mary… To the one who has finished 2 Chicago Marathons… To the one who loves McDonald’s as much as I... To the one who was always questioning Owen’s whereabouts, but had no problem following Donna and Dylan as they ran around 90210… To the one who hates Boggle but loves math…. To the one who is a closeted Britney fan… To the one with whom I can do absolutely nothing and still think it was the greatest day ever… To the one who “keeps it real” for dreamers like me (i.e. Why can’t they pick up their trash?)… To the one who can get even the hardest of people to bend with her sweet talk…. To the one who deserves to be the "Golden Apple" teacher every year... To the one who may or may not have tried to look as though she had a "thyroid problem"... To the one who sent the Indians running with her wicked tennis serves... To that "one," I'd just like to say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

May your day be filled with sunshine, laughter and sweet moments of celebration for a life well-lived. (Of course, cake and ice cream would also be nice!) I love and miss you!!

Photos from the "Day"

In Dari, the word for "village" is pronounced like the English word "day." Appropriately enough, here are some pictures from the "day/ dE."

Besides the fact that my voice sounds as if I've been chain smoking since the time I was in the womb...I'm beginning to feel better!

Some may say it's thanks to the meds, but I'd like to think it's happening because my AMAZING FRIENDS--A & J--brought over CAMPBELL'S TOMATO SOUP yesterday!

Yep, Campbell's Tomato Soup has finally arrived in the Ancient City!

So in honor of the Prophet's birthday (and an extra day off work)--I stayed in my pj's, ate that amazing soup, and scrapbooked. I also may, or may not, have watched several episodes of a t.v. show that I'm ashamed to admit I love (but it starts with: Dawson's and ends with: Creek).

All in all, it's been a lovely day. Tomorrow it's...back to work...April 1st...AND....(drum roll, please)...the CARDINAL'S OPENING DAY!!!!!!!!!!! I should go to bed now to prepare for it all!

Yesterday I thought I was dying. Well, sort of.

Ok, so two days ago I definitely felt some sinus issues coming on. No big deal. I usually end up with a sinus infection or cold this time of year. I could handle it.

However...I was not prepared for the full-on fever, aching, sinus problems, and stomach issues that were to follow! I promise you that there were parts of me hurting that I didn't even realize I had! I'm guessing that my eating out in the villages is finally catching up with me.

The last thing I remember from yesterday, is that before I fell asleep, I prayed..."Please God, take this from me."

Pathetic, huh?

Well, it worked. Almost. My head is still majorly congested, but at least it doesn't hurt to move!

And as I sit here, thankful to be alive :), and finishing up some stuff at the office that I wasn't able to do yesterday, there are a few things that are making me very happy...

1. Rain and cooler temperatures.--I LOVE days like today!
2. Joss Stone (her new stuff and "Soul Sessions") and Jamie Lidell's "A Little Bit More." --If you're looking for some pick-me-up music, try them!
3. The realization that we have a 3 day weekend ahead of us! --Happy Birthday, Mohammad.

So I've been waking up super early these days. Like 5 am early. I don't do that on my own...usually. But the sun's been shining through my windows bright and early and my room has been a little too warm for comfort. (Note to Self: Get some curtains made ASAP!)

I am confident that it will be His grace, and His grace alone, that gets me through the coming summer months. Of this I'm sure.


In other news...it's spring! I love spring (even though it feels like summer right now). And since it's been a while, I've decided to give you some "-ING's." (Don't ask me how "spring" and "-ing" words connect?)

Right Now I'm...
*Display-ing a picture from Busch Stadium on my computer background. (YAY! Go CARDS!)

*Wear-ing my cute, new, polka-dotted flip-flops that Special K sent, along with my cute, new, green head covering that I bought in the Desert with Babs' Birthday money! (THANKS TO YOU BOTH!!)

* Drink-ing a very cold Pepsi. (Well, it's sitting on my desk next to me. I wouldn't want to spill it on Mac now, would I?)

*Watch-ing turbaned men drive by on motorcyles...3 women in burqas walking along the street...and 2 little girls holding hands as they walk to or from school. :)

*Work-ing on finishing up our project's financial reports for the month of March and on a more fun note, I'm creating a new video, which hopefully will be posted on my other website soon.

*Smell-ing lunch being cooked downstairs. It definitely smells like french fries, but the rest will remain a mystery. At least for another 15 minutes.

*Plann-ing what I should bake for tomorrow. My teammate L is leaving next week to go back to the States and get married. We're having a bridal shower for her that will be for both ex-pats and national ladies alike. (I'm just hoping no stupid games with toilet paper are involved!)

*Wish-ing that all my friends would understand Dad's call on their life to come to this land so we could all live nearby and have barbecues and rooftop parties and lots and lots of time to laugh and be.

And last but not least...

*Think-ing that I should get back to work. Even though this time of day is my most unproductive, I should probably try and focus. :)

Sometimes my life is so...what's the word?...extreme. Today, like many others, I find myself coming up short in the word department as I feebly attempt to express what I've just seen and experienced.

This place is such a contrast of beauty and destruction...hope and despair...life and death.

Besides the moment when I watched two old ladies swinging punches at each other and the subsequent conversation I had with my co-workers concerning the WWF that followed...today has been full of heartbreaking stories.

*I surveyed 20 women today and all of them...*ALL*OF*THEM*...have had AT LEAST 2 children die.
*I met with a 12 year old girl who was just married off to a 25 year old man. (TWELVE YEARS OLD!)
*ALL of these families get their drinking water from the sewage ditch.

While the list of stories could drag on, I think I am personally finished for today. My heart is hurting too much. And while I know He is calling the weary to Himself, there are moments like this when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.

In case you were wondering, I am alive.

The last 2 days of break with Trickie were packed full of fun. And even though as I type, I’m having a hard time remembering what we actually did…I’m certain that it was good. Right, Tricks? Unfortunately the saying still holds true and all good things really do come to an end.

I said goodbye to my friend late Thursday night (Tricks, I miss you already!) and early Friday morning I made my way back to Ktown. I was supposed to fly out to the Ancient City on Saturday, but after sitting in the airport for 6 hours, they finally just canceled the flight. This seems to be a trend for my traveling adventures in this country so I guess I’ll chalk it up to that.

I eventually made it home on Sunday and on Monday afternoon the family that I live with, along with a team of 7 doctors and nurses from the US, also arrived to our house. I’m convinced that nothing says “Get back to work,” like taking a short-term team out to 2 villages for a 2-day adventure. Somehow I found myself thrust back into the thick of the culture here, as the ladies needed a female translator and there was no one else to help out.

But even though it’s been a chaotic start back into life here, I am happy to be home. I honestly think this is one of the first times since I’ve been working in CA that I can say that after a break and it feels good. It feels very good.

Today begins our weekend and as I sip my freshly brewed Starbucks and prepare to spend some quality time with Dad, I am once again reminded that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

So I'll leave you with that for now. Happy New Year's & SPRING Everyone...
(March 21st is the first day of the year for the calendar used here. The year is now 1386.)