I just had a funny conversation with two of my male teammates after lunch. One was describing this girl as "fru-fru" and then, seeing as how I was the only female present for this conversation, he turned to me and said, "Don't worry, L. I don't think of you that way."

Hmmm. I know in his mind that was a compliment so I don't hold it against him. But he should have probably stopped there. He went on to further explain that he sees me as a "semi-psychedelic wanna-be." (H, I'll give you one guess who said this!)

A WHAT?

I had to ask for an explanation on that one.

Somehow he equates the fact that I don't take things for face value and that I'm a "thinker" and "smart" with being "semi-psychedelic."

My guess: he was digging himself into a hole, and couldn't find his way out.

No matter his point, two things came to mind from this discussion:
1. My teammates don't really know me all that well yet. --This isn't a bad thing. We only meet together once a week or so, and when we do, we are usually busy being "deep." They've yet to really see "Fun L" come out of the bag.

Plus, I've never been outside of the country with these people. I guess it's good that they think I'm "un-fru fru." But the truth is, if we ever went on break together, I think they'd be surprised. I'm girlie. I like the color pink....lip gloss...wearing cute clothes...and shopping, among other things. (I know. Those of you who know me are S*H*O*C*K*E*D.)

Which leads me to my second thought...

2. I'm different here. ---This also isn't necessarily a bad thing. I remember last summer when Kar-Kar told me that she loves the fact that I love the finer things in life, but yet I still choose to live in a place like the Ancient City. Or how one minute I can carry on a 45 minute discussion about the latest trends in head bands and the next minute you'll find me arguing my views of war and politics. This is me. Some times I think I have multiple personalities. (Think: Sybil. OK, don't. Watching that movie in Freshman Psych scared me.)

The point is, that I guess I have to change to live in this place. My dress, language, food, living conditions, independence, safety, etc.....none of it is the same. It can't be if I want to make a difference here. And you know what? That's ok. I'm learning (if ever so slowly) that those things don't define me. None of them are where I place my identity. None of these things give me value*or meaning*or purpose.

Donald Miller in "Searching for God Knows What" says this...

The circus, and I am talking about life now, really sucks. It feels like we all have these little acts, these stupid things we do that we all hang our hats on. The Fall has made monkeys of us, for crying out loud. Some of us are athletes and others of us are physicists, and some of us are good-looking and some of us are rich, and we all are running around, in a way, trying to get a bunch of people to clap for us, trying to get a bunch of people to say we are normal, we are healthy, we are good. And there is nothing wrong with being beautiful or being athletic or being smart, but those are some of the pleasures of life, not life’s redemption. –pg.175

So every now and then I need a reminder. A reminder that it doesn't matter what clothes I'm wearing. Or how far along I've come in learning this language. Or who thinks I'm funny. Or smart.

For those things? Well, they are just pleasures.

My redemption comes from Him. My identity is in Him. And you wanna know the coolest part?

Rumor has it, that HE's madly in love with me. Semi-psychedelic or not.

There's No Place Like Home

I just thought I'd write a quick post to let you all know that I've finally made it back to the Ancient City. It was quite the ordeal yesterday, as it often is in this place, but I did make it.

It's been nice to sleep in my own bed, take a long shower, open the SIX packages and TWO cards I received in the mail while I was gone, play with Little D, and prepare for a new week at work.

It's good to be back.

Low Expectations

I know I blogged earlier, but I've received word that the flight to the Ancient City is canceled for tomorrow as well. Several people have called to tell me, but I have yet to confirm it with the airlines. My guess?...It's true. I apologized to the only other female traveling on today's flight...telling her that every time I travel this happens. I don't think she was amused.

Tonight a group of us went to eat at the Turkish restaurant and then up to the InterCon hill. T, you will be sad to know that the swings are gone! YES, we were all very, very sad. In fact, we stood in silence for a few moments just staring at the empty space that once held something so dear.

The swings were one of the few places in this city where all of your troubles seemed to disappear. You could overlook the city and when timed just right, you could even catch a beautiful sunset behind the rocky edges of the mountains.

There we could let our head coverings fall off and feel the wind on our face as our hair blew freely in the breeze. The chains were so long you might have thought they reached all the way to heaven. With your eyes closed, you could even imagine that you were being pushed by God Himself.

It was a lovely place. Those swings.

Thanks for the memories, swings. You will be sadly, sadly missed.

Yesterday I was beginning to feel like I had had enough of this place. I was annoyed by the beggars, frustrated at the staring men, angry with the greedy taxi drivers, sick of the insane traffic, and impatient with anyone in between.

Honestly, there are days when I love this place and then there are days when I want to cry, scream and/or pull my hair out. On a really "good" day, there's quite possibly the combination of all 3 of those reactions running through my mind.

Today it was the combo.

I'm writing this post, not from the comforts of my own room, but the room I've been staying in for the past 2 weeks. After a very long morning waiting at the airport, they canceled my flight... for no reason!!! I tell you, there has not been a single trip that I have made in and out of this city since my return, where at least one of my flights was not canceled. Grrr.

For those of you who think I'm a saint for doing what I do, you should have seen me today. I was anything but!

I guess I should be happy that this gives me one more night to hang out with friends, but I think I'm really just ready to be "home." I'll try again tomorrow and keep you posted if it happens.

"I'm finished," she said as she took off her gloves and turned back to her desk. "For good?" I asked. "Yes," she replied. A huge sigh of relief and gratitude filled the air as this long and seemingly, drawn out, process of a root canal had come to a completion.

I felt like doing a little dance right then and there in the dentist's office. But seeing as how I could never even get her to crack a smile the entire time leading up to that point, I decided against it.

Instead I headed straight over to the airline office to book my return flight home. I went in...explained to the lady that I needed a ticket to the Ancient City...she asked when...and then without hesitation, told me that there were no seats available for tomorrow's flight. WHAT??

I kind of thought to myself that this wasn't even funny any more, but what was I to do? So I booked my flight for Wednesday which, on the plus side, means that I'll make it home just in time for the weekend. :)

What a crazy ordeal this has been! 2 weeks. 2 weeks since I left the Ancient City for a "3-4 day" trip! And to think that I was so proud of myself for not over-packing this time around!

But besides the pain and dental visits, my time here really has been a blessing. One that I wasn't planning, but one that I believe was an unexpected gift from Above.

Here are just a few highlights:
1. An afternoon that consisted of lunch at the Thai restaurant (my fave) followed by iced coffee and great conversation at K Coffeehouse with H.
2. Being silly with S. (You haven't seen half of our Photo Booth shots!)
3. Sharing music with J.
4. Movies, movies, movies (and the first season of Grey's Anatomy).
5. Sitting out by the fountain and garden of the fancy hotel at night with H and J.

I'm sure I could go on, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. My heart is encouraged and I've been refreshed just by being here. Who knew a root canal could bring such blessings?

Word of Advice: Never see a dentist that's having a bad day. It can only mean that a lot of pain will inevitably follow.

Good News: The mean dentist finished the root canal part of the process today. I have to wait a day and then she'll put the final filling in on Monday. (Hopefully I'll be back in the Ancient City on Tuesday.)

Bad News: My Beloved Cards have had a rough week. I'll give them that. If you don't know, one of their pitchers was killed in a car accident last weekend. At this exact moment, they are playing the Houston Astros and I just checked the score. I may or may not have cussed.


Feliz Cinco de Mayo...and National Scrapbooking Day! (How nerdy am I?) :)

Ramblings from an Insomniac

Another silly photo from photo booth. That little camera on my computer is way too much fun, I tell ya! Hours of entertainment.

This is the second night in a row that I can't get to sleep. It's 1am and I'm not in the least bit tired. Not good for my body clock but perfect for moon gazing (and catching friends online).

Right now the moon is shining so brightly through my window that I think I could read a book by its light. It's lovely. A few bright stars twinkle in the distance. Silence fills the cool night air. It's so peaceful. Moments like this remind me exactly why it is that I love the late hours of the evening.

Nothing much in the way of news from here. The last 2 days have been pretty low-key. Just chilling with friends...watching movies...laughing...listening to good music...reading books. Soon I'll be heading back to life as normal. I'm trying to enjoy the last remaining days of this "holiday."

Tomorrow (well, today actually) I'll be re-visiting the dentist. I'm hoping that I'm healed enough now for her to finish her work. We'll see! My teammates are threatening to open some packages I've received if I'm not back by Monday. :) It is time to get "home."

So it was interesting tonight as a group of us were sitting around talking about life in this place... how it changes us for good or bad. We were sharing how it's hard to fit in when we are back in the States, as both parties have a hard time understanding the life of the other person. Someone pointed out how even something as simple as dental work takes so much more work/thought in this place. I can't just call up the doctor and see her that day. No, I have to book a flight...get a place to stay...not know how long I'm going to be there...etc., etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. And I do have very dear and precious friends in the States that I love and connect with. It's just that sometimes these worlds are such a contrast. Often times I don't even take into account the variety of stress that I experience here. Why would I? Isn't this normal? It is for me.

This is my life. Weird, I know.

Fun Times with Photo Booth...

Remember that time when I thought I was going on a 3 day trip
and it turned out to be 3 WEEKS????

Seriously. I didn't pack for this.

I don't really feel like writing about my dental issues at the moment. All I will say is that I'm now here in Ktown until at least Sunday...maybe Monday.

I'm ok though. Just hanging out with friends. Line dancing. Watching movies. Drinking milkshakes. Life really isn't all that bad.

The Saga Continues

Scene from today...

Dentist: (Begins drilling or picking or pulling or something on the tooth) How's your tooth today?

Me: (Gauze plus two hands in mouth) umm...it's ok. It's really sensitive to pressure though. Like, I can't touch it or bite down on it or anything.

Dentist: Hmmm. OK. (Carries on drilling or picking or pulling or something.)

Me: (Flinching while mentally thinking that this pain is not real)

Dentist: Do you need anesthetic today?

Me: Well....ummm...(thinking that I can tough it out)...are you going to be working a lot on this?

Dentist: No. This won't take long at all.

Me: OK then, no.

Dentist: (Begin pushing right on the nerve)

Me: (nearly jumping out of my chair) YEAH, I need anesthetic!

Dentist: (Proceeds to work for the next HOUR and a HALF!!!)

Me: Mentally--Did she really ask me if I needed anesthetic? What kind of a question is that? You work for over an hour on my tooth and you think I don't need drugs???

And...SCENE.

*************************************************************************
So it doesn't look like things are progressing as nicely as I had hoped. The dentist said I need more time to heal before she can do the rest of the work. I have to wait until Thursday to see her again which means I may or may not be able to head back to the Ancient City on Friday.

Oh the joys of dental issues!

I guess it's also a good thing I like chocolate pudding and milkshakes. :)

The dentist had a cancellation today and was able to get me in earlier than expected. I think it took her all of 3 minutes to determine that I needed a root canal. She began the process this afternoon and informed that I had finished the worst of it today. At that moment I looked much like a stroke victim, with the entire left side of my mouth numb. I naively thought that it wasn't really all that bad and couldn't figure out what everyone was always talking about.

Now, 6 hours later, I get it. I'd do anything for another shot of Novocaine. My guess is it's going to be a loooong night.

FYI: Root canals hurt. A lot.

The end.

Will the real dentist please stand up?

It was a good thought. This idea that I could go to Ktown for a quick 3 day trip...see the dentist, get my tooth fixed, enjoy some quality time with friends, and return home in time for another week of work. Then reality strikes and I'm thrust into the knowledge that I am living within a country and cultural context that never seems to work on my time table.

And so I find myself still sitting in Ktown. Still waiting to see the dentist.

Apparently the phone number I was given to contact the dentist here was incorrect. I should have known when the man who answered didn't speak English, but I asked him 3 times if this was the dentist and 3 times he confirmed to me that it was. So, trusting this to be the case, I set up an appointment for Friday at 9am.

Friday morning I made my way over to the other side of town, found the office, greeted the guards at the gate, and was promptly informed that it was Friday and the dentist was not at work. I explained that I was told to come at this time and they asked me to call that number again and ask about the situation.

The same national guy answered the phone. We exchanged greetings. I told him I needed to see the dentist and that he had told me to come at that time. He then said that he wasn't at the office. It hit me in that moment, that perhaps, he was the dentist. (The foreign dentist I was/am planning to see is female.) I asked if he worked for this certain company and he said no.

Bummer. He was a dentist, just not the one I needed/wanted to see. So since Fridays are like Sundays and yesterday (Saturday) was a national holiday, I could not get through to the real dentist until this morning.

I now have an appointment set for tomorrow morning at 8:15am...I think.

On the plus side of all of this, I've been enjoying some quality time with friends. Late night conversations, coffee, eating out, bonfire at the "Shhh," DreamGirls, truthful moments of "kiss and tell." What more could a girl ask for?!

I'm just hoping my tooth doesn't fall out in the meantime! :)

I'm going on a road trip, of sorts, in the morning. It's a bit of a spontaneous adventure. Not one I had previously been planning (or even thinking about), but one that has been brought on by the fact that I'm having tooth issues. (Read: a little bit of my tooth fell out yesterday and since I've been avoiding the increased pain for the past several weeks, I figured time was running out.)

So yeah, I'm headed to the dentist. Only there isn't one in this city. (Well, at least not one I'd trust.) So this morning I booked a flight for Ktown and will hopefully be seeing the one and only foreign dentist in this entire country some time in the next couple of days.

I'm just grateful that I don't have to leave the country to get help!

In between my time with the dentist, I plan on seeing lots of friends!! (Yay!) I might even be too busy to write on this thing. (Gasp!)

Just when I've started becoming predictable, I go and throw a curve ball ;)....

"Honesty...is such a lonely word."

Anybody remember that old school Billy Joel song? (And don't worry, you don't have to be afraid to admit you all are as old as me. Well, at least some of you. :)

Anyway, it just popped into my head. Randomness. That's what I'm all about.

So here's my honesty...

I've been missing my friends lately. (I think I might have mentioned that a time or two these past few days.)

I hate to use the word "lonely" because, really, how can one be "lonely" when one's surrounded by people ALL the time? Besides, it sounds so desperate. So weak. So...like I need people. And we all know that tough girls like myself don't "need" people. Right?

Wrong.

I'm learning this. If ever so slowly, I'm learning. It's how we were designed. To live in community with one another and with our Father. It's just like my future husband (who still doesn't even know my name or that I exist) Donald Miller says, "We are relational indeed."

The other day, my dear friend T blogged about her own desire for community. I remember Little J and I spending hours talking about it and longing for it while I was living in JoMo. And I even think the "Patio Gang" has joked about it at times.

But what does this actually look like? And how do we get there?

And more importantly...When am I going to have a friend close by who'd be willing to go jump in the fountain with me late at night or do the Thriller dance at the drop of a hat??? OK, I'm just kidding. Kind of. But, no, seriously...any takers? ;)

I could have written about this yesterday, but for fear of looking like a total nerd (save the comments please) posting twice in one day, I decided to hold off. That does not, however, mean that my joy has wained. In fact, I'm still smiling as I type.

Technology is an amazing thing (when it works for you). And yesterday morning it did just that, as I actually got to video chat with some of my favorite people in the whole world. To say that it made my day would be a HUGE understatement. I think it made my week….possibly even my life! (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but you get the point.)

The thousands of miles between us seemed to disappear, if only for a few moments, as everyone sat around the fire pit, enjoying their spinach/artichoke dip, s’mores, and fun beverages (like my morning coffee)….catching up…cracking old jokes (Scott, the "tree" comments never get old, huh?) and some new ones (Janet-courtesy of Laffy Taffy)…sarcastic comments…awkward moments (thanks Pete for always trying to hook me up with the “nearest” eligible bachelor)...and laughter.

For about an hour, I was back in B/N. Man, it does a heart good.

I do have to confess, while I'm writing about my "mini-break from reality," that a dare was laid on the table. Unfortunately I was unable to complete it yesterday. I kept trying to think of ways to throw in a line from “Baby Got Back” into ordinary conversation, and while it was great at cracking me up on the inside, outwardly it just didn't happen. It probably would have been lost in translation, right? So I'm going to try and make it work when I'm around predominantly English speakers. I'll keep you posted. It *will* happen.

So that's it. That is/was the highlight of my week. Now if only I could transport everyone HERE. My life would be complete. ;)

Plans. Often times they are overrated.

Last night I arrived home from work early. I was feeling productive after running a bunch of errands so I thought I would go with that feeling and work out while I still had some adrenaline pumping through my veins. It doesn’t take much to unmotivate me from working out, so I thought I’d help myself out by avoiding temptation. (Remember our plan, Tricks? I’m trying to follow through.)

In the midst of my routine, thoughts ran through my mind as to how the rest of my evening would look. And I have to say; I was pleased.

5:00-5:30pm—Finish working out and take a shower
5:30-6:00pm—Make & eat dinner
6:00-??pm—Read, help J with the kids, and enjoy a leisurely evening at home.
9:00pm—Go to bed early so I can get up super early in the morning to catch the crew on the patio!

And for the most part, I was right on schedule. Until 5:30pm.

Knock on my door. (It’s J.) She informs me that one of the neighbors had just stopped by and invited us to her brother’s second birthday party. It starts at 7pm.

Me: (In my pajamas, hair wet, no make up) Really?
J: Yeah. She invited us all.
Me: OK.

Change of plans.

I got dressed. Put some makeup on. Helped J get the kids ready and by 7pm we were walking down our alley to the neighbors.

They were thrilled to see us.

The next 2 hours were filled with conversations, dancing, laughter, little boys with sharp objects (they actually gave the 2 year old the knife to cut his own cake!), more dancing, and pictures.

We left their house at a little after 9pm, just as they were insisting we stay and eat dinner. (Sometimes it pays to have kids with bed times. They are great for excuses!)

So like I said…plans are often times overrated. It’s the unexpected invitations that could make your evening something worth writing about later.

Guess what?

YEP, you guessed it...I'm smart! I figured out the problem with the profile pic. :) Whoot Whoot!

And guess what else?...I downloaded the clean version of Avril's latest hit, "Girlfriend." I'm rockin' out in my office as I type. (Thanks for the recommendation, Trix!) I'm a sucker for anything that sounds like it has a cheer in it. "Hollaback Girl" being a case in point.

And guess what else?...If all goes well, I will be hanging out on the Gaff's patio with some of my favorite people in the whole world in the morning (night for them) via ichat. It's the backyard season opener there in B/N and I can hardly wait!

Oh how I miss my friends. Seriously. Like, a LOT. I miss them. As in, "you can't even imagine how much," I miss them.

And lastly...guess what?... That's it. I don't have anything else for you to guess. :) But I am trying to figure out how to have some fun in this place. Life can be too serious at times. I get consumed with work and home and the dramas that come with living here. I need some form of escape.

Anybody have any ideas or dares for me? Something I can do and post pictures of or write about? (And yes, I'm fully aware of how I ended that sentence with a prepositional phrase. Bad. Very bad.)

Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

So I've been trying to figure out a way to post a new photo in the "About Me" section, but have been unsuccessful up to this point. I'm going to try it here and see what happens. Sorry to disappoint if you thought I had some great, exciting news to share. :) I'm just really bored with all these old photos. AND...looking at that Starbucks pic makes me want to go there. I have to tell myself that someday I'll be enjoying my favorite location once again.

***********************************************************************************
OK...so I just tried it and it still didn't work. For some reason the URL's are not working these days. Anybody have any tips on this???

T.G.I.W.! It's the start of our weekend here and I couldn't be happier! Whoot Whoot!

It's been a long week. I'm ready for bed and it's...4:20pm. Is that bad? Although I just downloaded the latest Regina Spektor album and it's taking me to another world. (Thanks for all the new i-tune cards, people!!). I love it!

So today was *interesting* to say the least.

I came into work early, as my CDP staff and I wanted to run to the hospital to visit Sally before we left for the village. It took a few minutes of research, but we soon found out that Sally had been released yesterday. PTL! So we headed off to the "dE."

We arrived in DS and were setting up the room when, guess who walked in?....Yep, Sally! She was wearing a bright green outfit, sunglasses and a huge smile. She looked like a miniature movie star. I was thrilled. It was like seeing a completely different person than the one who lay unresponsive in her hospital bed just 2 days before.

According to her parents, the doctors had told them she had a tumor before looking at the x-rays. (Nothing like the medical system here, I tell ya!) After they examined the x-rays, they decided that she actually had typhoid...not a brain tumor. WHAT???

In that instant, part of me rejoiced while the other part of me was really ticked at those STUPID doctors!! Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster of this family?! Arrgh. It makes me mad just thinking about it.

BUT she's better. Sally is better! And here's the other cool thing...when her mom came into the women's meeting today, she thanked me profusely and then basically commanded me to pray for her again (in front of about 20 other women that had arrived previously). My co-worker said it might cause problems later, but I told her I couldn't refuse an opportunity to pray for someone.

So I did.

Now, I don't know what that means...or the effects of my simple words. But there are seeds planted. And I was obedient to the H.S. in that moment. (Who knows, I may be home sooner than you think! ...Ha!)

And then, beyond all of that, there were the conversations. Today, around the lunch table and again on the drive back into the city, serious discussions with my national co-workers took place. I can't go into the specifics of them here (And, no, none of them have changed their minds on anything), but they were open. And Truth was shared.

Looking back now, today just seemed like one of those days when His presence seemed so very near. And I don't mean the kind of nearness that fills you with peace...but the kind that makes you want to take your shoes off and bow. For I was almost certain that the burning bush must have been right around the corner.

Today seemed THAT big.

Green Acres...

I'm a city girl at heart. Small town girl by nature of where my parents raised me. And country/farm girl....umm....never.

Well, except for when I'm out in the village.

It's strange really. Maybe it's just a temporary fascination. Like when you go on vacation or during the honeymoon stages of marriage (so I've heard). The change of scenery seems to make everything come alive...if only for a moment.

Today I found myself standing on a hillside, smack-dab in the middle of about 200 sheep and goats, as we arrived to the "dE" in the height of their work day. Men, women and children were working all together, hustling the animals to and fro...cutting their hair, getting their milk, and moving them along to the next step. The animals themselves were making quite the commotion...a symphony of bah's and boo's, grunts and groans...blending together to make a kind of music of sorts.

And there I stood. A bit lost in the moment, yet completely at home in the foreign-ness of it all. I was struck again with how much I love this place and these people...especially those under-served.

Sure I know that I spend, on average, about 24 hours out of my week in the village. That leaves...well, that leaves a lot of other hours remaining. (Sorry all my math friends, I didn't want to think that much.) A lot of other hours that I spend in my nice office or comfortable house. Hours on my computer that's powered by city electricity. Hours in the bathroom where I have more than a hole in the ground and water that runs freely (and HOT water at that!). Hours in my bed...traveling in a car.

Hours that are a far cry from the realities of village life.

So...like I said, maybe my love for the village is a temporary/momentary fascination? For some reason, though, it doesn't seem to stop me from dreaming of living there some day. (Of course, I'm pretty sure the villagers aren't quite ready for a foreigner to move into the neighborhood, nor am I quite ready for such a transition.)

But there's the thought.

And maybe that idea will never come to pass? Maybe a few months down the road I'll look back at this post and ask myself what in the world was I thinking?

But right now...in this moment...I'm basking in His goodness and the privilege I have of spending 24 hours of my week investing in these areas.

For such a time as this...