On My Own

The other night I was up on this hill overlooking the city with some friends when, somehow through the course of our conversation, I started sharing about this period in my life when my friend Rachel could tell I was depressed (or lonely) without even talking to me. I guess the clues were easily recognizable--

• "Les Mis" soundtrack in my stereo system. (Check)

• L walking around singing a passionate rendition of "On My Own." (Check)

Diagnosis=Depression (Check)

Bummer. I always thought I was so elusive...mysterious. Who knew my feelings were an open book for the rest of the world to read at their leisure?!

And while I'm not walking around pretending to be Eponine or singing along to Celine Dion's "All By Myself," my house does feel a bit empty right now. T left on Saturday and S has plans to return in the next week or so. Until then...I'm all alone in our big 2-story house. (Well, me and the guard who stays outside in his own room.)

But something funny hit me last night as I was watching the movie "Shall We Dance." As I sat in my room, munching on popcorn and transcending myself into the world of Hollywood, I realized I was not alone. No, it was not the voices in my head...or the make believe people in my room. It was the sound of laughter. Laughter that was both deep and gutteral, as well as high pitched and squeeky. Laughter that came at just the right times in the movie. Laughter that was coming from within...

That is, from within the speakers on my computer.

As I watched this movie, alone in my room, I realized that I wasn't really alone at all. I was joined by numerous people at some un-known theater in an un-disclosed location. You see, that's the joy of buying movies here. Not only are you getting some Hollywood blockbuster, but you are also buying a theater full of friends to join you!

So much for "no late fees," Blockbuster. Show ME the Friends! :-)